141127

Year 2 Block 4

Last post was 5 months ago. Time flies. Half of the year 2 gone. Few months later I will be in Year 3, years later i will graduate soon, huh?

Wrote this because I felt stressed. Start our history taking and clerking real patient soon but seems like I am not ready yet. Insufficient study, lack of confident, doubt myself whether i can become a good doctor.

And ya, you are getting more busy, less text, less calls. But i know you are stressed as well, thats why i never dare to disturb you. But I need attention from you, more attention.

Am i still not matured?

But its not your fault, its that i really need you. That is so much thing i want to tell you yet both of us are so busy. Especially the starting of the new block.

Idk why am i crying now.

I will get well soon, just that i am thinking too much again. I have to be more hardworking so that i could perform better.

First Aid Course

This is the first time i went to ampang hospital, which i will spend my life here after year 3 onwards. Actually i don't think we should visit hospital just for the sake of learning first aid, our campus also can do what isn't?

But still, today we learnt all about CPR and basically i think i did it quite well. But during the exam time did forget to mentioned the check pulse, check breathing, open airway should be head tilt, chin lift also I FORGET. So sad that i thought that i will fail and have to retake but thank god. I PASSED.

Waited 90 minutes for the bus to come eventually took taxi with seniors cause..i don't know how long to wait until...

Practical session was fun!

PBL haven't done yet. DVT (deep vein thrombosis) de pathogenesis. THOUGHT of forcing myself to reread everything eventually i so lazy to do now.

DONT BE LAZY!

140613

Its Friday night.

Spending my time at melaka now. The last time i came back here was 2 months ago. I never realised 2 months passed so fast until my brother remind me that the last time i am here was during the qing ming time.

Its sad to see that the urinary bag is attaching on my grandpa's side all the time. I think it is quite suffering cause this restricted his movement and he cant't be really free walking around anymore. This year as usual we are celebrating father's day with him again. I dont't know how many years we can still celebrate anymore but, hopefully he can stay longer and of course happier.

This week PBL as we are talking BPH as well. Lets talk something about BPH. since this is so commin in malaysia.

BPH=Benign Prostate Hypertrophy

It is quite common among the elderly patient. Mostly 80% of the elderly patient will encounter this problem. My grandpa is one of them. The reasons of BPH is still unknown, but studies shows that the influence of hormone is one of the problem.

Who's in the high risk that might encounter this problem?
Family history is one of the factor. If your father or grandpa is one of the patient then you might have high chance of getting this. Besides, some other factors such as obesity, dietary factor can all be the risk factor.

The prognosis of BPH is basically good. There are several treatment available nowadays. However if the patient's age is not too young anymore, like for my grandpa's case, doctor do not agree that he should undergo surgery cause the anesthesia might bring side effects to him. That is why now he always got the urinary bag with him.

Stay strong in overcoming all the problems.

140611

Lots of things haven't done yet.

All the assignments, pbl, and the online courses as well.

This week we are talking about benign prostate hypertrophy and prostate cancer, which are very common in  the elderly man patient. Took me quite some time to search for all the information from aetiology to treatment. 

I missed by year 1 pbl group, i mean, i am used to the way of doing things and interacting with all my pbl-mates. Now come a new year, new people, have to take some time to get used to every single stuff again. I was kinda under stress condition last week because all the while the others are busy giving comment while i don't know how to interrupt and add my comments as well. 

Dr.Thaw Zin always tell us that how scary is the world outside, if you are not strong enough, you will being pushed and fall to the most bottom level ever.

Well, I agreed with his statement. Though I hoped that i am lucky enough to meet all those nice person in my life again, dr.tz told us life is never easy. NEVER. 

I am supposed to finish everything by today yet i am still thinking what to write here. Haha.

Btw today, i am so lucky enough that i got helped by utar technician to recover my damaged word document for me. At first i was like thinking is really hopeless but after 3 hours he send the pendrive back to me and yay! Thank you so much to him really.

Life is good.

Now.

I am back again.

I abandoned my blog for too many years. That is not a good thing though.

Now i decided to write more things. To remember what happened to me, and as a diary as well.

Well, i took some time to review back my blogpost in the past 6 years. The way of my writing is seriously too immature. Can't believe that i actually wrote that you know. Time can really change a people.

Entering new phase of my life. After suffering for 1 years,dealing with memorizing stuff. Finally now is the starting of my year 2. Just entering the second week, still trying hard to figure out an effective way to study better.

One thing i must talk about is about dr.thaw zin. I think he is a wonderful lecturer. He taught us alot of things regarding from his past experience in doctor's life. He never feel ashamed in praising himself and always very confident. All his theory though is not correct but is very useful in dealing difficult situation in future.

I just want to do my best in my year 2 and hoping for the best of all.

Differences

Its seriously funny when you tried to view your last time post. I can see how childish i am in writing all the post. And obviously. I can write better with chinese.

I cant imagine how i behaved last time seriously. Its seriously embarrassing. I wonder how others can stand my chinglish so well. Even i myself also find it geli when i read back my post. Especially the very first one. When i was 15 years old.

Time flies. And im a medical student now. God bless that i can do well in my exam. :) gonna write more starting from now. Really :)

A thousand years



Heartbeats fast 　　　　
Colors and promises 　　 　　
How to be brave 　　 　　
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall 　　 　　
Watching you stand alone 　　 　　
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow 　　
One step closer 　　 　　
I have died everyday waiting for you 　　 　　
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you 　　 　　
For A Thousand Years 　　 　　
I'll love you for A Thousand more 　　 　　
Time stands still 　　 　　
Beauty in all she is 　　 　　
I will be brave 　　 　　
I will not let anything take away 　　 　　
What's standing in front of me 　　 　　
Every breath 　　 　　
Every hour has come to this 　　 　　
One step closer 　　 　　
I have died everyday waiting for you 　　 　　
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you 　　 　　
For A Thousand Years 　　 　　
I'll love you for A Thousand more 　　 　　
And all along I believed I would find you 　　
Time has brought heart to me 　　 　　
I have loved you for A Thousand Years 　　 　　
I'll love you for A Thousand more 　　 　　
One step closer 　　
One step closer 　　
I have died everyday waiting for you 　　 　　
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you 　　 　　
For A Thousand Years 　　 　　
I love you for A Thousand more 　　 　　
all along I believed I would find you 　　 　　
Time has brought heart to me 　　 　　
I have loved you for A Thousand Years 　　 　
I love you for A Thousand more 　　

i thought i will be strong enough, and i really thought my family relationship will be getting better when i come back.

but it seems not,

my mum is scolding me again because i'm not qualified to go for medicine course maybe, the sentence, 我不看好你 makes me hurt the most, i couldn't believe because of money, and yet money problem again =) she treats money more important than me i think, ya =)


and yet she said because of my brother, until now only she didin't leave us.

I don't really care actually, its ur choice. I will just wish u and pray that you got a better life.


although i love you, but sometimes, i really cant stand you.

finally i'm back =)

back from forest, back from NS, and back to home =)

life still goes on, ya =)

i feel ashamed for myself cause i never got an A+ for maths ='(

联络越来越少，


感情越来越淡，


我看到的是一片茫茫，


我不知道你在干什么，能忙到让你会也不回我的信息，


你也不说一声对不起，一声也没，


我不知道是不是因为我们之前太好，所以变成了这样。


我也会吃醋，但我真的不想告诉你，


我们为什么要在一起？


为什么我会使越来越不快乐。


我要走了，你也看似一点儿，一点也没有不舍，


你根本就没再珍惜我们现在所剩下的时光，


很好，我又在掉泪了。


我很好奇自己在你心里到底是怎样，得一个位置，


我只是个用具？

物品？


When i need you, where're you?

i wanted to share my things with you, but when i think that you'wont reply, my heart freezed.

you know, i really disappointed, getting disappointed, very very disappointed.

早就应该知道，


我们，


哈哈。

如果有一天，我突然消失了，你会不会发疯似地找我？然后因为找不到我而难过？

如果有一天，我突然消失了，你会不会无数次的点击我的FB，看看我留下的痕迹？

如果有一天，我突然消失了，你会不会认真地用心地看我FB里的每一篇日志？

然后理解我当初多么地珍惜你？

如果有一天，我突然消失了，你会不会在半夜突然醒来，想我想到泣不成声？

如果有一天，我突然消失了，你会不会每天开着MSN等我？当你看到好友上线时心中一阵紧张，以为是我？

如果有一天，我突然消失了，你会不会看那无聊的喜剧流泪？然后狠狠地想我？

如果有一天，我突然消失了，你会不会在街上走的时候想到我？想到蹲在地上痛哭？

如果有一天，我突然消失了，你会不会在最快乐的时候想到我？想让我和你一起分享你的快乐？

如果有一天，我突然消失了，你会不会觉得你是想我的，其实你很在乎我？

如果有一天，我突然消失了，我一定不会回头…而你要忘了我，继续幸福地过你的生活！

是不是我真的消失了，你才会发觉身边有个我？

是不是我真的消失了，你才会想起来珍惜我？

是不是我真的消失了，你才知道怎样来珍惜我？

是不是我真的消失了，你才会感觉到当初我是多么得珍惜你？

是不是我真的消失了，你才舍得给我一丝可怜？你才会明白你真的失去了我？

是不是我真的消失了，你才懂得什么是真正的爱……

我们，不应该在一起，


当你的关心越来越少，信息越来越少，


我早就应明了

我实际上，对我们的感情很迷茫，


我们，是否选错了？

我希望我不会太想你，



也能尽早，把你忘了。



=）

Almost ended :)

I din reach my target,



again :)

I din reach my target,



again :)

everyone say, is easy...easy ya easy,



easy things also i can wrong =)


easy things also i don't know,


easy things


easy things





i'm really down =)